Waiting for my Husband to come home from work the other afternoon I found myself in our breakfast nook preparing delicious blue berry crepes and reading a recent edition of The Cleveland Scene and my goodness was I appalled.
To my disdain the major local headline read: Chicken Wars: Ohio becomes an underground center for cockfighting
(Read article here). What really ruffles my feathers, is that I'm just finding out about this now. The authorities have reason to believe this has been going on for years. Just recently they discovered a box of roosters being sent to the near West Side; close to where my church group and I spend our Sundays preaching to the addicted. (After all that soup, not once did any of those crack whores ever once think to invite me to a cock fight). After closely examining the box of cocks the authorities decided that these birds were, "headed for the not-so-bright lights of basements and garages, where they would do battle for amusement and wager." Goshdarnit! After all those years of endless bake sales and having to run that horrible 50/50 raffle at my step son's lacrosse games, all the PTA had to do was invest its "cookie fund" into a Peruvian Red Rooster and the library would probably have a new wing by now or at least a handicap ramp for that whiny family.
For those of you looking to adopt and train a roster for your local PTA here is how the sport works: "Owners strap three-inch gaffs sharpened like razors to the rooster's heels. A winner is declared only when one is dead or too injured to fight on." While most of our county's after school activities have been cut due to a lack of funding, this sport is inexpensive and looks to bring the whole community together. Currently, the ladies and I of the Dyer County PTA are looking to purchase roosters for every homeroom and have begun reaching out to local business to sponsor the construction of a fighting ring in the playground.
Recently, other mothers have come up to me and asked, "Claire, what do you say PETA and the local humane society who have publicly denounced you and your cock fighting ring?" Well girls, I smile and simply respond, "There's nothing cruel or unethical about giving my children a brighter future you tree hugging motherfuckers."
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